I ALMOST DIED!

Y’all, I hate to veer from design and be dramatic but life has been DRAMATIC.

Blog 3: I almost died, no literally.

One day, I go to bed feeling fine. Around 2am, I wake up with my tongue swollen, and tell my husband we need to go to the ER now.

At the ER, they separate my husband and I due to COVID-19 (which is REAL btw) and shoot me with an epi-pen that doesn’t get the swelling down. Then, they had to intubate me as my tongue was obstructing my breathway so much at that time. Following that, I’m out like a Mike Tyson punch in the 80s.

I don’t wake back up till three days later.

I wake up to beeps, machines, amazing healthcare staff, feeling groggy but thankful to be alive. I get discharged from the ICU and can physically touch and see my husband for the first time in five days. He wasn’t allowed to visit or stay due to COVID-19. I was by myself and in the hospital for 5 days. It was crazy!

Why am I over sharing? Well, I think a lot of fake, perfect pictures, glam and only happy times are shown on social media. But what about those times where you’re really going through?

The times you lost a loved one (or two, three, four?) you almost died yourself, you had a debilitating injury, or life was physically or financially one way on this day and it got COMPLETELY flipped around the next day? What do you do in those times?

If I’ve learned anything in my short days, I’ve learned that you can supposedly prepare all you want but you’re never fully prepared for an unexpected moment. Healing and wholeness is a process. It’s a daily work. Some days are hard as hell, and some days there’s laughter. Some days there’s moments of rage and in the very same day, moments of gratitude.

I knew I had to stay alive for my husband, my babies and my purpose.

In my moments waking up in the hospital, the apparent life dichotomy of Black life was occurring with two things I couldn’t get out of my head - pain and joy. (I know, very random, but this was my alert conscious truth).

One thing on repeat in my head was Tobe Nwigwe’s “I need you to arrest the killers of Breonna Taylor”. Even when I "came to", the sickening loss of her young life is still in my thoughts, actions, prayers and forefront. The thought that I could still have the option to fight for my life and she, younger than me, couldn’t fight for hers, was a debilitating thought.

We should not have justice for some, justice should be for all.

This was the other item in my head - the awesome song by Bryan Courtney Wilson called “A Great Work”:

“He that has begun

A great work in you

Is faithful to perform it

God is faithful to perform it

He that has begun

A great work in you

Is faithful to perform it

Oh God is faithful”

God is still faithful.

Please continue to pray for my recovery as I’m going through lab work and trying to get answers to find out what I’m allergic to.

This is my main request: Please feel FREE to leave me prayer requests. Send me a DM, txt, email, phone call ANYTHING!

I think we’re all possibly trying to keep going through the normal motions acting like it’s fine, but y’all, we’re in a freaking global pandemic?!?! This mess isn’t normal. It’s not fine.

When I was finally able to start walking again, and I was walking around the ICU, the folks hooked up to these machines for COVID-19 was crazy. People are really going through. All ages, all backgrounds, shapes and sizes.

Between virtual school, full time work from home, yet there’s possibly also kids there and/or other issues, you not being able to self-care at all or like you want to, losses of jobs and homes, natural disasters, corporate and political greed, civil injustice, and people just not being kind. Please don’t be in pain alone.

If you know me, I’m in your circle. I’d be honored to pray for you and your family. Prayer works. I know it does. My family and friends just prayed for me and I’m eternally grateful.

Send me your prayer requests. I’m serious. 2020 has been a mess.

Make Everyday Beautiful,

Tiana